My mommy tells me...

My mommy tells me, I have a problem with letting go.

I guess people became attached to other people and some let go better than others. I've always loved being part of a group and I feel excited, happy, myself when I am interacting. I like to talk I love to listen I thoroughly enjoy learning about other people and their minds.

My mommy tells me, that as we grow up, we begin a different stage and group friendships are harder to maintain. As time passes my circle of friends evolve and transform but not everything can stay the same, I understand this rationally. Emotionally I don't like it. I don't want it to be the way it is.

Situations in a group can lead to alterations; people get together fall apart, group dynamics modified. We learn to adjust but I find this harder... I strangely try to hold on but find myself losing the battle. I can't always keep my group of friends the same in time.

Dependency versus being an independent individual... somehow the sentence my mommy tells me, you are not defined by your group of friends... rings a bit strange in my mind. Am I not?

It is all a case of balance, life I know.
Balancing that side of myself that is independent with that side that is not; I'm still learning to let go...

An urge to be significant in the life of the ones I love. An unsustainable feeling to try and hold that "special" place in someone's life, the threat of that place being replaced by someone else... Why am I so "insecure" "jealous" "selfish"???

Complicated questions as I still, try to figure out the lines, the subtle differences in my emotions.

My mommy tells me life changes as I grow up... Today I feel like a little girl trying to deal with a big, big world.